The Great Experiment

In August, one of my newsletters explored in-depth why women quit the workforce in larger numbers than men, after couples have kids. In that newsletter I looked at the underlying factors and some of the more immediate triggers for an individual’s urge to quit. I concluded with a set of tips for dealing with triggers, followed by some strategies for establishing more balance in the medium-term. You can find the full article here.

Having felt the tiniest urge this summer to quit myself, but more generally just feeling out of balance, I committed to doubling down on some strategies I discussed in that newsletter while also adopting some new ones.

It’s been almost two months since I wrote the piece and thought I would offer an update on progress made.
 

Short-term strategies

In case you didn’t read the original newsletter, short-term strategies are meant to help you deal with some of the overwhelm that is preventing you from thinking clearly on your medium-term goals. 

The objective here is to create breathing space in your life to more methodically approach re-organising the various spheres of your life. I discuss some progress made below.
 

Do less at work: Aren’t we all prone to taking on more than we can chew? Since I wrote that summer newsletter, I managed to have a conversation with my Director in which we agreed on a pared down work program. I’d been managing many tasks and as a result I wasn’t succeeding as well as I would liked at any of them. By early September I had handed over 3 important ones to willing colleagues, giving me actual space in my calendar to look at my work day quite differently.

‘Meeting Free’ Fridays: I was already using these to a certain extent during COVID but in the last six months or so I was letting them slip due to competing work commitments. In August, I renewed my pledge to remain steadfast and haven’t had a slip up yet. What I really love about my Fridays is that all week I keep a running “Reading List” that I then get to tackle, or I save my Friday to do some work-related research and writing.

Trim down meetings: I had read about this in several places of late. Just taking your meetings down from 1 hour to 45 mins or from 30 mins down to 20. I’ll admit it doesn’t always seem to pan out. Sometimes you may come across as rude because you jump right into the discussion. But on the whole I’ve actually found the pared down meeting quite liberating for me.
 

Say “No”: I have been doing this much more at work. But our social calendars seem to have blown up—in part due to Clyde’s new school which has a lot of organized events for parents and families. I’m just trying to find that balance between enjoying the re-charge that social events can provide and being mindful of over-programming.

Take a personal day off each month: I was inspired to try this after a close girlfriend of mine this summer talked about why she loves a 4-day work week: her ability to just have a day to mix house responsibilities with personal re-charging. I took my first one off in September. I caught up with an old friend who lives quite far away, I had lunch with my husband and then we both took our son golfing after-school. I also folded laundry, wrote a newsletter, and enjoyed reading the morning paper. Not bad, eh? What would your ideal day off look like?

Medium-term strategies

Medium-term strategies are there to help you make those important changes you wish for your work-life balance. Many of the short-term tips discussed above can actually become a part of your daily work-life balance DNA with the medium-term strategies providing the intellectual space for deeper reflection.

Take a “sabbatical”: I haven’t gone that extreme but I have re-organised my portfolio such that I am going to manage only two important work streams for the remainder of the year. What I’ve loved so far is that one of them is taking me back to my academic roots. I’d forgotten just how energized I got from researching and writing, and have realized over the last few weeks that I had drifted so far from those passions that I’d lost touch with what really inspired me in my work life.

Consider reducing your work hours for a while to re-calibrate: I did contemplate this but figured out that I’d start by reducing the amount of tasks in my portfolio and seeing if that improved things. But I do have some friends who have taken that decision of late and have been entirely satisfied with it. 

A couple of additional tips and tools

All of the above did not miraculously transpire overnight. It took time, energy on my part, homework, and also just rest. 

Talk to people outside of work: I started with some initial conversations with my husband, followed by a few weeks of vacation where I completely detached from my work, coupled with a lot of walks and yoga where thoughts popped in and out that I then recorded on paper, and finally once I felt much clearer in my head, I followed up with a few chats with a professional career adviser. 

Keep steadfast in your personal care routine: I’ve been doing my usual 5pm wake up with yoga and writing. 

Work smartly: I also spent some time researching productivity tools. “Productivity” sounds a bit mechanical but the objective being to put some structure into the work day, beyond it being bookended by meetings. I settled on the Pomodoro Technique. I’ve been using it for a few weeks now and find it has really helped in reducing fatigue from being on the screen along with improving my concentration and ability to write. 

Stay organised: And of course no day is made possible without a family calendar! We still use the old-fashioned white board. But stay tuned as we may enter the 21st century shortly with an app-based one! 

Concluding Thoughts

Change is always good. 

The hardest part is finding the courage to ask for it with your boss at work, or with your partner at home. Taking the time to first clear the mind through some short-term coping techniques really helped me to get clarity on where I wanted to be spending the majority of my day at work. I realized so far that handling the to and from school, and all that comes from Clyde’s little life, is not the problem. In fact it is so enjoyable. My issue was with my workload and the nature of it. 

By liberating myself from some of the tasks and re-organising the intellectual focus on some of my old and dearest passions, I’ve managed to reinvigorate my relationship to my work. I suspect checking in quite consistently on how things are going will be important. But for now, it’s feeling and looking a whole lot better. 

I hope this small update may inspire you in your eternal quest for balance.