Hear Our Stories: Voices of Ordinary Parents Navigating Work, Life and Love

Jamie, I absolutely love your mission statement which is to see “equal female representation on F500 Boards.” Can you talk a bit about why you’ve chosen that as your professional goal? What do you think are going to be the decisive actions needed for us to achieve that goal in the next 15 years?

I’ve chosen it as my goal to be part of the solution. There is so much work to be done in this area. Women need to be trained, mentored, and supported to go the distance.

We need women at the top of corporations, and the government, where the decision-making power lies to balance power in the country. Properly representing feminine values is the answer to solving our country’s challenges such as sustainability, diversity and now the workforce shortage.

During my late twenties and early thirties, I worked in the male dominated technology space. I worked extra hard; late nights, and weekends to prove myself to be trusted with clients. I was a single mother, so I worked after my son went to bed, or when he was out playing with friends. It was a lot. I was often the only woman in the board room for Monday morning meetings.

I struggled to belong in the Boys Club. I played the corporate game, befriended my male colleagues, and created girls-club lunches for support. I began winning awards, adding diamonds to my mini-size men’s class ring awarded to the top “salesmen”, all the way to the top; “salesman” of the year. I hit burnout soon after the announcement, and I dropped out of the industry shortly thereafter. It was too much. It wasn’t worth sacrificing work-life balance particularly my sleep, mental health, and time with my son.

I saw this burnout pattern with other ambitious women at the top of their game. Not only are not enough women being chosen for the top jobs, the women who are making it to the top are dropping out like me. These women are dropping out of the race at the highest levels in corporations, while their male counterparts keep going to VP, CEO and board positions.

 So, I decided to be part of the solution.

How do we get there in the next 15 years? Quotas are necessary to move the needle in some companies. We want to place qualified women in top positions, including managers, and it is often the case women are more qualified than their male counterparts being considered. Jane Lovas, Ph.D., a women’s leadership coach shared with me last week that studies show that when there are at least three women in a room of ten leaders, that the impact of diversity is unleashed more fully than simply one or two.

Mentors, Allies, and Champions. Board training and education on how to handle work-life integration and how to network effectively and manage career is needed. We also need childcare and flexible work schedules. More resources, like your book, help women in real and practical ways to navigate the landscape of professional and family life.

What does image mean to you and why should professionals (both male and female) be concerned with it?

 Image is about crafting your personal brand to control the narrative. You are creating and presenting the best version of yourself. First Impressions are made in an instant and you want it to be the right one. You want the second, third and thirtieth impression to build on that first impression, ultimately crafting the story of you.

This is important because a strong personal brand opens opportunities and increases the speed of success because you are more visible, credible, and memorable.

The best way to build your image is with mindset and wellbeing, then work outward on your appearance, body language, communication, and digital presence. Authenticity is key for all aspects of image and personal brand.

What types of individuals have been important mentors to you in your career and what more do you think we can do to nurture young mothers trying to grow their professional lives?

I’ve been blessed to know many powerful and professional women. Lorrie Wazny, CFO for Graf Canada (skates) at the time; Jennie DeCarrier Benzon, a Black woman VP at Marriott who champions diversity; Janis Milham, former Marriott SVP, now an executive coach; and Lauri Reishus, who recently took over as President and CEO of ARC. These women demonstrated through various examples, how to navigate business; that life can change in an instant, so wherever you are – do your best you never know who is watching you; to lead powerfully with authenticity; and they gave me advice and both formal/informal mentorship.

We can help young people with mentorship from women executives like the ones who mentored me. Leadership and confidence training, public speaking skills – particularly overcoming fear of speaking in meetings are all keys to move women from sitting on chairs against the wall to taking a seat at the table in meetings.

Resources like your A-Z book can help young professional mothers with work-life balance early in their career.

Were there times in your working life when it just all seemed like too much? What did you do to tackle the overwhelm?

Early in my career, I would let overwhelm take me out. Now, when overwhelm hits, I get out a piece of paper, or my phone, and perform a brain dump. It’s simple and highly effective. I simply list everything in my head on paper; clearing my mind.

When I’m stuck on a big overwhelming project, like writing a book. I set a timer for 10 min, with 5-minute breaks for a walk around the block. Invariably, after a couple rounds, I am into deep work. I did that often when I edited Your Daily Dose.

Another important approach to overwhelm for me is to check in – what self-care do I need? Sometimes simply taking a longer break and I’m feeling like myself again.

A third method to clear my mind and focus is to meditate for 2-3 minutes.

Do you think that single working parents have it harder or easier?

That depends. Husbands are wonderful to share parenting as long as they are not one more “child” to take care of. It’s also possible to have adult conversation when married – I would have liked that.

For me it took less energy to raise my son on my own and re-invest those resources of time and energy to building my career, and friends and family support network for adult conversation. I think the bottom line is pick a good partner or stay single if you are ambitious.

Your early career was in IT at a time when few women were working in that space. How would you describe that time for you?

It was eye opening, interesting, and exhilarating because I was part of constant innovation. It was also demoralizing because women were often referred to negatively and there was harassment. I didn’t see it then but after the #metoo movement it is obvious to me.

I went on many sales calls and networking events with my male superiors and collogues to learn how to handle the men, and business, in a male dominated space.

For a long time, I rejected the feminine, trying to study and emulate being a man, mostly white men, in a female body.

I closeted my heels in favor of sensible oxfords, before it was a thing to do. I was typically on my feet most of the day and decided heels were forced on us by the patriarch and our collective cultural expectations – and darn it my feet hurt!

The hardest was seeing so few women, at the top. It lit a fire in my belly and I vowed to help redistribute the political and corporate power more evenly between the genders.

You’ve worked in both corporate Canada and America. Which side of the border makes it easier for women to advance professionally?

I don’t see much difference, although I think that Prime Minister Trudeau is making efforts. Women were unusually scarce in the technology, Oil and Gas spaces where I worked.

Canada may be easier because there seems to be less adherence to the traditional in Canada, such as church, and family.

How do you seek balance in your life?

I stop and ask what’s missing when I feel off. Then I add it back in. Sometimes, I refer to the wellness book, Your Daily Dose, which covers everything in the four pillars of well-being, for ideas on what I can reinstate. I practice yoga and meditation to help me stay aware of my needs and balanced to hold a space for others to create balance for themselves.

Describe your perfect day.

Wake up, meditate while the coffee brews, then journal and sip on bulletproof coffee. For a perfect weekend day, I like to linger in bed reading and journaling, Then a hike. For a perfect weekday, I like to teach a yoga class, learn, and then create content in the morning. Afternoons are for phone calls, meetings, and appointments. I stop for a snack around one and dinner around 6pm. Hot shower, then I light candles, and wind down with a good book before lights out.

What is the one thing you cannot do without in your daily life.

Movement. Either a walk or yoga every day.