The Top 10 Entries from the Little A to Z

May 2022 was the 2 year anniversary for The Little A to Z: A Companion for First-Time Mothers and Their Partners.

In today’s newsletter I wanted to focus on the top entries—those for which I have received the most frequent feedback as super helpful and those that, based on my own self reflection, seem so critical to a successful first 18 months of parenting. If you are still in the throes of those initial 18 months of parenting, or just about to embark on this wonderful journey, this newsletter is dedicated to you and your early parenting success!

The Top 10 (in alphabetical order)
Attention: I find it has gotten harder to stay connected at times to Clyde and to give him my full attention when we are playing or being together. I’ve been working on stilling my mind through breathing and meditation to just let the perpetual lists and thoughts quiet in my head. I also keep my phone out of our play zone and do my best to just be present. It isn’t easy at all. So I’d say this entry remains just as relevant today as it did when I first wrote it for my book.

Brestfriend: If I had to promote one item for new moms I would say it is this breastfeeding pillow. I had such neck and shoulder pains early on from sitting in an old rocking chair and not having little Clyde propped up properly. This pillow brings your baby up to you, ensuring that you don’t get all that muscle area pulled forward and out-of-whack.

Co-parenting: Since I wrote the book, I’ve thought long and hard about successful co-parenting, specifically about the importance of communication with your partner. Is there a way to avoid some of those ridiculous fights over styles and approaches to parenting? Is there a way to prepare first-time mothers and their partners for the tensions that will arise around every decision: from routines to sleeping through the night to bottle feeding. In retrospect, I am not sure there is. Parenting is unlike anything we’ve ever had to do and it is all very much ‘live in the moment’ decision-making. You can read books and be prepared but ultimately it is the lived experience that will guide you. Inevitably you and your partner are going to have different opinions about some ways to go about things. As advice to a new parent: spend time while you are pregnant discovering how your partner was raised. Were both parents active? Did both parents work? Were there certain values that mattered most in decision-making? Knowing some of these things might help prepare you both for how you will want to approach raising your little one. To the extent that you can, talk things out frequently.

Don’t blink: cherish and preserve memories as best as you can. We’ve tried to do a photo book once a year for our parents and close relatives. We try to talk at meal times about early family memories of trips. Were we tech-savvy I am sure we’d know about programs to preserve photos and videos and put them together in albums for you. I have a friend who has these giant art folders to keep all her daughters’ school projects. Whatever the memory or medium, try to put systems in place to preserve them.

Drawers: I love that I get such good feedback about this entry. When I described The Little A to Z on the back cover it was meant to be your mom, amongst others, coaching you through those initial months. Drawers exemplifies the spirit of the book perfectly as this was a tip for traveling with a newborn without a crib, shared by my mom.

Kellymom.com: breastfeeding is the hardest thing a new mom faces. This website is your silver bullet.

Routine: A few entries in my book touch upon the importance of routine. Routine is really an important thing to get right from the beginning to provide everyone with structure. Even now that Clyde is six years old, the need for structure has not gone away. For general day-time routines I enjoyed The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. For napping and night-time sleeping routines my go-to website was weebeedreaming.com

Self-care: I cannot stress this enough. Everything from sleeping when your little baby is napping to staying ridiculously hydrated to eating well for you and your newborn to getting post-natal massages to help move all the residual hormones through your system to starting to exercise again after about 5 weeks to making time to meet a friend for coffee. Whatever the little gesture or ritual may be, make yourself a priority.

Touch: I still love a good bedtime cuddle with my son. I love when he wants to sit on my lap and read a book. I love when he grabs my hand spontaneously while walking. All these moments of touch provide such emotional and physical grounding between us, especially now that he is getting older. A friend’s wife provided a beautiful entry on early touch for my book.

Travel: light and nimble wins the race! This entry on how to travel without strollers, diaper bags and the like was inspired by watching families struggle in TSA lines to get all their gear organized and up on the conveyor belt. Even before being pregnant I had said to myself, “No way.”

A Big Thank You
Writing and publishing The Little A to Z was a very fun and personal project for me. And its allowed me to connect with so many different parents now through the newsletter. A thank you to everyone who has supported the project over the years. If you haven’t yet, consider buying yourself, or someone you know who is expecting/has recently given birth, a copy. You won’t be disappointed!