Hear Our Stories: Voices of Ordinary Parents Navigating Work, Life and Love

 

It's hard for me to compare because I've only every really been a parent in the UK. But I'd say for the most part that the UK has a very similar approach and mindset to parenting in North America. 

 

 

I do think parents, and women in particular, face similar work-life balance issues in England as in North America. There is an expectation that women can have it all, and I don't really think they can. You can do things to make life easier to help with the balance but ultimately one will be prioritised over the other, even if unintentionally. 

 

England does, though, have a great social 'state system in place to support parents (both working and non-working) and I think that helps in achieving the balance we all crave. One example is shared parental leave which allows parents to share the 12 months of paid leave, and many dads I know have taken it. Men in England are encouraged (and not shamed for) taking it. This is great. I don't get the sense that it is the same in North America--but maybe I am wrong. 

 

Another example of state support is that some of our childcare is automatically covered by the government which helps me work part-time and still have some income left over for things other than childcare. 

 

There are two great series I'd recommend: Working Moms (Canadian Broadcast Corporation) and Motherland (British Broadcasting Corporation). These are TV sitcoms about moms and work-life balance. Both are brilliant and both share a similar experience --just on different sides of the pond.

 

 

I think being an educator can be easier in some ways for parenting and harder in other ways. I have the experience in understanding child development and behaviour. I have access to all the new programs and theories about teaching and learning which I can easily pick and choose and apply to my own parenting style --which I am grateful for. I realise I worry less about child development milestones because I know first-hand the positive results and the time needed for children to learn when they are ready. Kids are so resilient! I trust that school and other education professional will take care of my child and I feel confident getting involved when I am uncertain. 

 

But on the other hand, I probably have higher expectations of my kids--academically and developmentally--and project some of that onto them which isn't fair. I know at times I do get frustrated or impatient when I do things that worked with a student but not with my own children. 

 

Overall, though, it's definitely helped me with parenting and made me feel more confident overall as a parent. 

 

 

Hairy Letters, Jolly Phonics and Ruth Miskin Phonics, Reading Eggs, Word Shark, Numicon, any fine motor skills work like cuttings things and gluing, YOTO--audio library, and Zones of Regulation.

 

 

I wish I could put my family cabin area and cabin a couple of hours away from London. And Arriba Old Dutch Nacho Chips.

 

 

Part-time work is best for me. It allows me to balance the work/home life much better. I started out only 2 days a week when I went back, doing one-to-one specialised teaching; and now I have slowly worked up to 4 days where I am now leading a whole department at an international school. The benefits of part-time for me is that I get one day a week to focus on the boys and have that time with them. This one day is devoted to the family side of my life as well: house admin! The one day free also gives me some time to do a proper work-out or meet a friend for coffee. It really helps me feel like I can be a better parent and teacher if I have that day for me and my family life.

 

However, I have come to the realisation that 4 days, with my role and responsibilities, is too much. Real part-time like 3 days or less would be ideal. But until 'real' part-time or flexible work is more mainstream, my ambition of being in a leadership position or being higher up the ladder is non-existent. I'm ok with that because I always wanted a family and putting that first.  

 

As long as I can keep some work going on in the education profession, while the boys are young, then when I'd ready to be back into working full-time and taking on more responsibilities I will be able and willing. If not, something else will come long, I'm sure of it. 

 

We try to have a supper on our own a few times a week to catch up and be without the kids. We also have a tennis court, so we try to find some time to play together. On my non-work day, once the boys are dropped off at school, we try to sneak off for a quick breakfast or lunch which only works at the moment because my husband is still working from home. 

 

 

I am fortunate enough to be able to work part-time which allows some time for me, and to manage the work/family balance. For me to find balance, I need to stick to routine, getting exercise and getting help where I can like having ready-made meals during the week so I don't have to worry about groceries or cooking at the end of a long work day. I also try to carve out a bit of time for 'me'--time such as a bath or reading the paper or listening to a good podcast. I'm also trying to take up some new/old hobbies like painting which I don't give enough time for but I do try!

 

Having a relaxed morning with coffee and the paper, boys reading of playing happily and independently, then doing a family activity with the boys and ending with a pub lunch. But at this very moment, what I am really longing for after these tough 18 months is lying on a very warm (tropical) beach, reading a really good book with a really yummy cold cocktail in hand!

 

 

Coffee first thing in the morning--such a cliche but so needed. It sets me up for the rest of the day.